It has been about 3 months now since I moved back to my hometown, Ormoc City, a laid-back little city where everything you need is just 10 minutes away. The only downside is that everything here is in slow motion. I say that with a bit of tongue in cheek. An unhurried life is wonderful, except when you are standing in line.
Although I routinely came home every other weekend, my life very much revolved around Cebu City, a hip metropolis with its own unique beat. That is where 12 years of my life happened. I guess I grew up in Ormoc but I became myself in Cebu.
With social media, I get instant updates from my “previous life”. What’s new with the yoga community, what’s happening in the office, a new hang out place perhaps. There’s also the usual updates from friends, the selfies, ootds, hauls, what they are about to eat, what they just ate. I have become a spectator. I willingly graze through the multitude of posts, photos, and events. I get a lot of different emotions as well. I feel happy seeing my friends happy. I get excited with all the new things to expect when I visit. Sometimes I feel like I am backstage watching the show from behind, wanting to be part of it.
Whenever I catch myself feeling left out I set time to meditate. I try to envision myself being surrounded by the things I do not have. The latest gadget, concert tickets, a big burrito, new shoes. I try to feel each one and imagine having it. Will it make me happy? Maybe. Will it make me a better person? No, not really. Should I spend my energy fixating on it? No. I watch them leave one by one.
I end my meditation with a cleansing breath. I am where I should be.